Welcome to the DEA Lounge. My name is Adderall Zoloft.
Never fear, I passed a thorough drug test before appearing on stage tonight. I am so proud!
I don't mean to brag, but the drug testers in the lab actually praised me for having a great combination of drugs in my digestive system: they told me that I was apparently using drugs wisely for important purposes and that I should be proud of myself. They reminded me that drugs that inspire and elate have been used for religious reasons for millennia and that my wise use of the same showed that I actually cared about being all that I can be in life.
And here I was thinking that I was going to have to borrow urine samples from the Amish in order to pass muster with America's Drug War Gestapo.
I understand that Kevin Sabet is in the house tonight. I wonder if he would like to come up to the microphone and apologize to all the mothers in inner cities who have lost children due to the drug prohibition that Kevin champions. No? You sure, Kevin? Don't be shy.
Oh, yeah, I forgot: being a Drug Warrior means never having to say you're sorry.
Yeah, that's right. Whenever there are problems caused by prohibition, you Drug Warriors can always blame those very problems on drugs themselves.
I'll tell you what, Kevin, how about I tell the mother of 15-year-old Niomi Russell that you are sorry for having promoted a drugs policy that led to her death by a drive-by shooting in Washington, D.C. in 2024?
I mean, hello, Kevin! There was no machine-gun-fire in American streets until Americans enacted liquor prohibition. And yet these prohibitionist clowns will actually blame inner-city violence on drugs rather than on the drug prohibition that so obviously caused those deaths by incentivizing violence.
Tell the truth and shame the devil, Kevin, that's my motto.
You know what Ann Heather Thompson wrote in the Atlantic in 2014, Kevin:
Without the War on Drugs, the level of gun violence 1 that plagues so many poor inner-city neighborhoods today simply would not exist.
Kevin may not like the fact that I refer to prohibitionists as clowns, but you know what they say: if the big, floppy clown shoe fits, wear it.
Hurry hurry! Step right up! See the most counterproductive and hateful drugs policy in human history! Watch as imperialist and racist politicians demonize the kinds of godsend medicines that have inspired entire religions!
The drug war is being used as a wrecking ball to destroy democratic freedoms. It has destroyed the 4th amendment and freedom of religion and given the police the right to confiscate the property of peaceful and productive citizens.
DEA Stormtroopers should be held responsible for destroying American Democracy. Abolish the American Gestapo.
If Fentanyl kills, then alcohol massacres. The problem is drug prohibition, not drugs.
When psychiatrists write about heroin, they characterize dependency as enslavement. When they write about antidepressants, they characterize dependency as a medical duty.
Self-medicating has always been the most basic of human rights, until the medical industry demonized the practice for obvious financial reasons.
I can think of no greater intrusion than to deny a person autonomy over how they think and feel in life. It is sort of a meta-intrusion, the mother of all anti-democratic intrusions.
Even the worst forms of "abuse" can be combatted with a wise use of a wide range of psychoactive drugs, to combat both physical and psychological cravings. But drug warriors NEED addiction to be a HUGE problem. That's their golden goose.
Drug Prohibition is a crime against humanity. It outlaws our right to take care of our own health.
The U.S. government created violence out of whole cloth in America's inner cities with drug prohibition -- and now it is using that violence as an excuse to kick the people that they themselves have knocked down.
The Drug War is the legally enforced triumph of human idiocy. We have rigged the deck so that our dunces can be right. The Drug War is a superstition. Indeed, it is THE modern superstition.
Hurry hurry! Step right up! See the most counterproductive and hateful drugs policy in human history! Watch as imperialist and racist politicians demonize the kinds of godsend medicines that have inspired entire religions!
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