Fried Brains Over Easy: another Drug War Comedy Routine
live from the DEA Lounge
by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
April 9, 2025
Click the audio link above to listen to the latest comedy routine live from the DEA Lounge, featuring Adderall Zoloft and Paxil Buspar!
ADDERALL: Welcome to the DEA Lounge. My name is Adderall Zoloft.
PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.
ADDERALL: And we are here tonight to encourage you to just say no to godsend medicines.
PAXIL: That's right, Adderall.
ADDERALL: Say, Paxil, I hear that a majority of psychiatrists would like to receive electroshock therapy if they ever became severely depressed.
PAXIL: You're kidding me. You mean that they would rather have their brains damaged than to use the kinds of medicines that have inspired entire religions?
ADDERALL: Apparently so, Paxil.
PAXIL: That is hard to believe after you've read quotes about ecstatic drug use in books like "Pihkal" by Alexander Shulgin.
ADDERALL: What quotes, Paxil?
PAXIL: Quotes like these, Adderall.
"Excellent feelings. Tremendous opening of insights and understanding. A real awakening."
"This feels marvelous, and a whole new way to be much more relaxed, accepting, being in the moment. No more axes to grind. I can be free."
"I felt an enriched emotional affect, a comfortable and good feeling, and easy sleeping, with colorful and important dreams."
ADDERALL: Yeah. And now let's listen to a quote from someone who has just had electroshock therapy.
"Er... um... I feel... eeee.... shh... I'm sorry, what was the question again?
ADDERALL: That's all for now. I'm Adderall Zoloft.
PAXIL: And I'm Paxil Buspar.
ADDERALL: And we'll be here till Thursday -- or until the DEA figures out that we hate its guts, whichever comes first.
ANNOUNCER: This has been a presentation of the Drug War Philosopher @ abolishthedea.com, who reminds you that the Hindu religion was inspired by the use of a drug that inspired and elated, from which it follows that drug prohibition is the outlawing of religion. This is Goodman Johnny speaking. Stay tuned for more comic sendups of America's illogical, racist and superstitious Drug War, right here on abolishthedea.com.
Author's Follow-up:
April 25, 2025
Alfred North Whitehead wrote the following observation in "The Concept of Nature":
"The substantial reason for rejecting a philosophical theory is the 'absurdum' to which it reduces us."
Clearly, we need to reject materialism -- at least in terms of its pretentions in the field of psychology. That ideology has led to the most absurd result imaginable: namely, the utter blindness of materialists to common sense -- to the extent that they would sacrifice their own gray matter on the altar of their faith in reductionist science.
Of course, we can ascribe at least some of the absurdity to the Drug War propaganda of censorship, which has censored all talk of positive drug use from our lives. But I never realized how successful that propaganda has been before I started encountering this conviction on the part of psychiatrists that brain damage was better than drug use.
Shock therapy is simply our modern version of blood letting. It is performed based on dogmatic assumptions and has nothing to do with common sense or even sanity.
Have these masochist psychiatrists never heard of Alexander Shulgin, or of the Hindu religion for that matter, or of the "quarterly carouses" of opium using poets in the 19th century? Do they really think that the best way to treat depression is to decrease mental capacity? Do they really truly see no therapeutic power in elation and ecstasy and self-transcendence and rapture? Please tell me that these fans of brain damage are joking.
Well, I suppose Mary Baker Eddy would be proud of those of us who choose brain damage over the use of substances that are part of the politically demonized category called "drugs."
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
So he writes about the mindset of the deeply depressed, reifying the condition as if it were some great "type" inevitably to be encountered in humanity. No. It's the "type" to be found in a post-Christian society that has turned up its scientific nose at psychoactive medicine.
Getting off some drugs could actually be fun and instructive, by using a variety of other drugs to keep one's mind off the withdrawal process. But America believes that getting off a drug should be a big moral battle.
Suicidal people should be given drugs that cheer them up immediately and whose use they can look forward to. The truth is, we would rather such people die than to give them such drugs, that's just how bamboozled we are by the war against drugs.
The DEA should be tried for crimes against humanity. They have been lying about drugs for 50 years and running interference between human beings and Mother Nature in violation of natural law, depriving us of countless potential and known godsends in order to create more DEA jobs.
Prohibitionists have blood on their hands. People do not naturally die in the tens of thousands from opioid use, notwithstanding the lies of 19th-century missionaries in China. It takes bad drug policy to accomplish that.
I can think of no greater intrusion than to deny a person autonomy over how they think and feel in life. It is sort of a meta-intrusion, the mother of all anti-democratic intrusions.
Trump supports the drug war and Big Pharma: the two forces that have turned me into a patient for life with dependence-causing antidepressants. Big Pharma makes the pills, and the drug war outlaws all viable alternatives.
Most psychoactive substance use can be judged as recreational OR medicinal OR both. The judgements are not just determined by the circumstances of use, either, but also by the biases of those doing the judging.
Michael Pollan is the Leona Helmsley of the Drug War. He uses outlawed drugs freely while failing to support the re-legalization of Mother Nature. Drug laws are apparently for the little people.
Americans are far more fearful of psychoactive drugs than is warranted by either anecdote or history. We require 100% safety before we will re-legalize any "drug" -- which is a safety standard that we do not enforce for any other risky activity on earth.
So he writes about the mindset of the deeply depressed, reifying the condition as if it were some great "type" inevitably to be encountered in humanity. No. It's the "type" to be found in a post-Christian society that has turned up its scientific nose at psychoactive medicine.