How Drug Warriors Steal American Elections
by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
October 27, 2019
[standup]
Welcome back to the DEA Lounge!
[applaud]
How many people realize that American elections are fixed? Let's see a show of hands.
[gasp]
You heard me. American elections are fixed, and they have been fixed for the last 40 years.
[gasp]
How? No, it has nothing to do with the Russians. It's because the Drug War, each year, is locking up almost a million left-leaning voters.
[gasp]
Think about it. The folks that we're arresting for mere drug possession were never going to vote for conservatives, so it follows that it is in the conservative interest to keep the Drug War going full tilt, to keep a million left-leaning Americans off the voting rolls every year.
[gasp]
This is why the Drug War goes on, because we're arresting all the voters that would throw the Drug Warriors out of office.
[boo]
Nowadays, we see national elections decided by mere thousands of votes -- so just imagine the enormous benefit that Drug War conservatives receive when a million of their opponents are removed from the voting rolls every year thanks to a felony charge for possession.
[gasp]
Did I mention that this actually bothers me?
[applaud]
This is why, far from apologizing for being mad, I urge my fellow Americans to become as pissed as I am.
[applaud]
As for the Christian Science narcs in the room, relax. I'm just suggesting -- merely hinting -- that you just possibly might want to consider a career that does not entail the corruption of American elections and the denial of basic rights to your fellow Americans, that's all I'm saying. Just think about it. Just think that you might possibly (just maybe) want to stop ruining a million lives a year, thereby subverting American elections. Fair enough?
[laughter]
As for the rest of you lot, enough with the oh-so-cool cynicism about civic involvement. Hop out of the urine-testing line and complain for a change!
Baaaa!
All right, who just bleated? Don't make me come out there!
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
The drug war is being used as a wrecking ball to destroy democratic freedoms. It has destroyed the 4th amendment and freedom of religion and given the police the right to confiscate the property of peaceful and productive citizens.
To oppose the Drug War philosophically, one has to highlight its connections to both materialism and the psychiatric pill mill. And that's a problem, because almost everyone is either a Drug Warrior or a materialist these days and has a vested interest in the continuation of the psychiatric pill mill.
"Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies." -- Groucho Marx
Most prohibitionists think that they merely have to use the word "drugs" to win an argument. Like: "Oh, so you're in favor of DRUGS then, are you?" You can just see them sneering as they type. That's because the word "drugs" is like the word "scab": it's a loaded political term.
Someday those books about weird state laws will be full of factoids like: "In Alabama, you could be jailed for 20 years for conspiring to eat a mushroom."
Hollywood presents cocaine as a drug of killers. In reality, strategic cocaine use by an educated person can lead to great mental power, especially as just one part of a pharmacologically balanced diet.
The existence of a handful of bad outcomes of drug use does not justify substance prohibition... any more than the existence of drunkards justifies a call for liquor prohibition. Instead, we need to teach safe use and offer a wide choice of uncontaminated psychoactive drugs.
Now the US is bashing the Honduran president for working with "drug cartels." Why don't we just be honest and say why we're REALLY upset with the guy? Drugs is just the excuse, as always, now what's the real reason? Stop using the drug war to disguise American foreign policy.
We might as well fight for justice for Christopher Reeves: he was killed because someone was peddling that junk that we call horses. The question is: who sold Christopher that horse?! Who encouraged him to ride it?!
We should be encouraging certain drug use by the elderly. Many Indigenous drugs have been shown to grow new neurons and increase neural connectivity -- to refuse to use them makes us complicit in the dementia of our loved ones!
Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us
Running with the DEA -- er, I mean the Devil
A Drug Warrior in our Midst
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Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass
Contact: quass@quass.com
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