The FDA announced today that MDMA and related compounds could help save the planet by teaching people to love each other. "This is fantastic," raved researcher Nancy Rimkin of the NIH. "These drugs actually help you feel real love toward your fellow human being. The strategic use of such medicine could help world leaders understand each other and so pull the world back from the brink of nuclear war!"
Rimkin stresses that MDMA is but one of many similar compounds called phenethylamines that show incredible potential, not just for increasing compassion, but also for ending crippling depression and anxiety and weaning problem drinkers off of alcohol. FDA head Jim Bowden agrees. He is demanding the immediate legalization of all such drugs in synch with a national education campaign about safe use. "This is a game changer," Bowden says. "Everyone talks about the lousy human condition, but now we have a chance to actually do something about it!"