introduction to the Drug War Philosopher website at abolishthedea.com orange rss icon with stylized radio waves orange rss icon with stylized radio waves label reading 'add as a preferred source on Google' bird icon for twitter bird icon for twitter


back navigation arrow forward navigation arrow


We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself

a brief comedy sketch in protest of America's hateful policy of drug prohibition

by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

August 29, 2025



Live from the DEA Lounge, we present Johnny O'Clonapan.

What's up, Philly?

How many people want to end gun violence 1 in the City of Brotherly Love 2 ?

[applause]

Let's see, I think that's unanimous.

And now, how many people realize that it was drug prohibition which brought gun violence 3 to Philadelphia in the first place?

[crickets chirping]

I was afraid of that.

Now then, let's try this again.

How many people want to restore our inner cities?

[applause]

How many want to restore the rule of law in Latin America?

[applause]

How many want to end the mass arrest of minorities?

[applause]

How many want to end drug prohibition which causes all of these problems in the first place?

[cricket chirping]

I was afraid of that too!






Notes:

1: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)
2: Dean, Mensah M. 2025. β€œThe End of Progress on Philly Gun Violence?” The Philadelphia Citizen. July 9, 2025. https://thephiladelphiacitizen.org/gun-violence-summer-2025/. (up)
3: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)








Ten Tweets

against the hateful war on US




Drug testing labs should give high marks for those who manage to use drugs responsibly, notwithstanding the efforts of law enforcement to ruin their lives. The lab guy would be like: "Wow, you are using opium wisely, my friend! Congratulations! Your boss is lucky to have you!"

Doc to Franklin: "I'm sorry, Ben, but I see no benefits of opium use under my microscope. The idea that you are living a fulfilled life is clearly a mistake on your part. If you want to be scientific, stop using opium and be scientifically depressed like the rest of us."

The best harm reduction strategy would be to re-legalize opium and cocaine. We would thereby end depression in America and free Americans from their abject reliance on the healthcare industry, meanwhile ending gang violence and restoring the rule of law in Latin America.

American businesses judge people, not by the color of their skin but by the contents of their digestive systems.

We need to stop using the fact that people like opiates as an excuse to launch a crackdown on inner cities. We need to re-legalize popular meds, teach safe use, and come up with common sense ways to combat addictions by using drugs to fight drugs.

Over 45% of traumatic brain injuries are caused by horseback riding (ABC News). Tell your representatives to outlaw horseback riding and make it a federal offence to teach a child how to ride! Brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.

A generally educated person meets new ideas with curiosity and fascination. An illiberally educated person meets new ideas with fear. --James B. Stockade.

Here are some political terms that are extremely problematic in the age of the drug war: "clean," "junk," "dope," "recreational"... and most of all the word "drugs" itself, which is as biased and loaded as the word "scab."

Big pharma drugs are designed to be hard to get off. Doctors write glowingly of "beta blockers" for anxiety, for instance, but ignore that fact that such drugs are hard -- and even dangerous -- to get off. We have outlawed all sorts of less dependence-causing alternatives.

We throw people out of jobs for using "drugs," we praise them for using "meds." The categories are imaginary, made up by politicians who want to demonize certain substances, but not cigs or beer.


Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






Next essay:
Previous essay:


No cookies, no ads.


Attention, Teachers and Students: Read an essay a day by the Drug War Philosopher and then discuss... while it's still legal to do so!

The Partnership for a Death Free America is a proud sponsor of The Drug War Philosopher website @ abolishthedea.com. Updated daily.

Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com

tombstone for American Democracy, 1776-2024, RIP (up)