One of my many shortcomings as a writer is that I assume that my readers know what the hell I'm talking about when they actually do not. I thus have a tendency to write tersely in cases where a little prolixity "would go a long way," so to speak. With this in mind, I would like to devote this entire post to the task of "fleshing out" what I mean when I say that America's Drug War represents a kind of Christian Science Sharia, a claim that I have made "in passing" in at least 10 of my essays over the last year, assuming that I was merely stating a commonplace, until a friend of mine politely pointed out to me that some of my readers might not be familiar with the theology of Christian Science, or even with the politically charged connotations of the word "Sharia" as used in the 21st century by a westerner. This task of clarification is crucial because once one understands the statement that "the drug war is Christian Science Sharia," the evil of that quixotic project becomes apparent and we develop an immunity to the drug war propaganda that pervades western society (not least in the form of cop shows and drug war movies, both of which promote the once uniquely western view that Mother Nature's psychoactive plant medicines can bring about nothing but madness and despair).
Briefly then (though hopefully not TERSELY): Christian Science is a religion founded in late 19-century America by Mary Baker (aka Mary Baker Eddy), after she discovered what she took to be the overlooked healing power of spirituality as demonstrated by Jesus in the New Testament. She came to believe that physical suffering was an illusion, that it had no objective reality, and that it could be overcome by faith alone. Given this theological understanding, many modern-day Christian Scientists, like Baker herself before them, feel no need for modern medical intervention and seek to do without its various ministrations (including prescriptions and surgery), sometimes with tragic results, as was demonstrated by a number of sensational cases in the media in the 1980s in which Christian Scientists were charged with child abuse for allowing their children to die of treatable diseases due to the parents' religious conviction that healing could come about through spiritual intervention alone.
Having thus briefly explained the Christian Science outlook on suffering, I trust that it is apparent why the drug war represents the enforcement of Christian Science precepts. The drug war says, in effect, that human beings should not -- and indeed must not - use Mother Nature's medicines in an attempt to improve their psychological well-being. And this is simply the doctrine of Mary Baker herself with respect to illness. It is a religious belief, especially as many drug warriors suggest that the proper alternative to so-called drug use is to believe in the Christian God. Yet there is no scientific reason why we should not use the plants and fungi of our choice to improve and expand our cognition - there is only the conviction of the drug warrior that it is somehow wrong to do so. Of course drug warriors who hold this faith have to work constantly to censor history in order to delete counterfactual examples from the past. Thus we read of Benjamin Franklin's creativity, without being told how he used opium to stimulate that creativity. Thus we read of Sigmund Freud's highly prolific work output, without being told how cocaine helped drive him to produce that output. Thus we learn of Francis Crick's great insight in discovering the DNA helix, without being told how he used psychedelics to help achieve that insight.
Having thus established that the drug war represents the enforcement of Christian Science precepts, I will end my efforts at clarification by defining the word "Sharia," both in its original sense and in its generally pejorative modern connotation in the west. We read in Webster's, that "Sharia" is:
"the body of formally established sacred law... governing in theory not only religious matters but regulating as well political, economic, civil, criminal, ethical, social, and domestic affairs in Muslim countries."
More to our purpose here is the modern connotation of the word "Sharia" in the west, where it conjures images of a police state run by a theocratic government that will brook no dissent and whose laws are emphatically harsh. By thus describing the drug war as "Sharia" in this pejorative sense, I hope to highlight the highly ironic fact that Americans (and westerners in general) are living under the very form of government that they purport to detest, a kind of western "Sharia," that subjects them to a set of ultra harsh drug laws (which may soon include the death penalty in America) should they choose to violate the Christian Science doctrine of renouncing Mother Nature's psychoactive plant medicines when it comes to treating "what ails them," psychologically speaking.
QED, the drug war is really the enforcement of Christian Science Sharia.
If enough freedom-loving westerners can "get their head around this fact," then we can stop impotently shouting "End the drug war!" to deaf politicians around the globe and start shouting "End Christian Science Sharia!" instead, thereby revealing to the drug warriors that we're "onto" their game and that we know all about their stealth efforts to make us conform with the anti-scientific moral philosophy of the religious reformer popularly known as Mary Baker Eddy.
There was no drug problem in Ancient Egypt. There was no drug problem in Ancient Greece. There was no drug problem in Ancient Persia. There was no drug problem in Ancient Rome. There was no drug problem in the Mongol Kingdom. There was no drug problem in the Viking Era.
Why? Because until 1914, people were judged by how they behaved, not by what substances they had in their digestive system.
The Drug War is America's unique, anti-scientific way of looking at the world. It is a war that causes all of the problems that it purports to fix: above all, it brings "drugs" front and center in the minds of the irresponsible, encouraging them to explore and use substances that they might have never even heard of without the peurile and anti-scientific plant demonization of drug war zealots.
Get an exciting job ruining the lives of your fellow Americans. Listen to this fun audio clip to find out how!
Help America enforce Christian Science Sharia. Help nail the anti-patriotic scumbags who insist on using mother nature's plant medicines of which politicians disapprove. Great benefits. Must pass a squeaky clean drug test, proving that you have emphatically renounced all of mother nature's godsend plant medicines.
Can't pass a urine test? Order a vintage bottle of Granny's Weewee today, guaranteed squeaky clean. We use only the finest urine from teetotaling grandmothers, who gave up their right to mother nature's psychoactive plant medicines many decades ago. Why not splurge and buy the 1945 vintage? You don't want to pass up a job at Taco Bell because you were stingy! This early vintage has a great down-home bouquet and will remind the lab technicians of the good old days of Grandma and those great pies that she used to bake (or whatever).
End the War on Drugs
by Christian Science Heretics
Mine by Birth
by Thomas Jefferson and the Poppies
Waxing Wroth (about America's Drug War)
by God and His Minions
Urine testers needed to ruin American lives
Your Call is Impotent to Us
Movie Review of Running With the Devil 2019
Drug War Jeopardy
Drug War Virus Update
DEA help line
Manager's note: All of our comedians have undergone drug testing. None of them have been found to be using anything but the most mind-enhancing and therapeutic plants in Mother Nature's psychoactive pharmacy.
A Drug Warrior in our Midst
Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
Drug War Copaganda
The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
The Joy of Drug Testing
Dear Reddit readers: I do not respond to Reddit messages for at least three reasons:
Some of them are mean-spirited nonsense.
Some of them are non-mean-spirited but nonsense all the same.
Some of them are simply wrong-headed but inspire me to write fully reasoned comebacks, for which I simply don't have time.
If you really want to reach me, however, my name and email address can be found in a reasonably intuitive location on this site, so feel free to contact me there. I'll assume that anyone who takes the time to do so will have something meaningful to say ;)
Bone up on slam-dunk arguments against the drug war, starting with the fact that it was a violation of natural law to outlaw plant medicine in the first place. Check out
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for fun ways to learn more about the manifold injustice of the status quo, including many knock-down arguments never made before. Why? Because even the majority of drug-war opponents have been bamboozled by one or more of the absurd assumptions upon which that war is premised. See through the haze. Read on. Listen on. And Learn how tryants and worrywarts have despoiled American freedom, thereby killing millions around the world, totally unnecessarily, ever since the fateful day in 1914 when ignorant America first criminalized a mere plant -- and insisted that the rest of the world follow suit or else -- an act of colonialist folly unrivaled since the day of the genocidal Conquistadors.