bird icon for twitter bird icon for twitter


A Drug Warrior in our Midst

by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

October 25, 2019



Welcome to the DEA Lounge!

Let's hear it for Johnny English and the Band!

[laughter] [applause]

They've got a lot of nerve, starting their set off with "Quinn the Eskimo" like that.

[drum] [laughter]

In the DEA Lounge of all places.

[laughter]

Don't they know that the government does not allow improved thinking and expanded consciousness via plants -- the coca leaves included?


Never mind that indigenous South Americans have used them for ages to achieve mental clarity.


Never mind that Sigmund Freud himself achieved prodigious vocational output and thus self-fulfillment via cocaine .

[applause]

Uh-oh. We seem to have a Drug Warrior in our midst. You've got to realize, madam, that it's absurd to criminalize plants and thereby make a black market and generate all sorts of violence.

[applause]

All I can say is, I hope you're enjoying that Bahama Mama while you're hypocritically trash-talking Mother Nature's plants.

[drum] [laughter]

What about Sigmund Freud and cocaine 1 2 ?

Freud was like, "That psychotherapy mumbo jumbo is all well and good for my patients, but I demand REAL treatment in my own life, thank you very much!"

[laughter]

But it's funny trying to argue against the fascist Drug War on line.

[gasp]

And I call it fascist advisedly, mind you, because {^the Drug War is nothing but the enforcement of Christian Science with respect to mental states.}{

[applause]

My name is Thomas de Qunicey 3, and I'll be here through Friday, or until the United States outlaws criticism of its disgraceful Drug War, which could happen any day, considering that the government has already had the chutzpah to outlaw the plants and fungi that grow at our very feet.

[laughter] [applause]

Yes, madam, I'm sure you're very proud of yourself for having given up the vast majority of nature's godsend medicines, but I'll thank you not to make Christian Science the state religion with your anti-scientific drug laws.

[laughter] [applause]

For more groundbreaking anti-Drug War essays and comedy, visit AbolishTheDEA.com, preferably before it's outlawed by people like motormouth here.

Yes, of course, madam. Whatever.



Notes:

1: Sigmund Freud's real breakthrough was not psychoanalysis DWP (up)
2: On Cocaine Freud, Sigmund (up)
3: Confessions of an English Opium Eater De Quincey, Thomas, Dover, New York, 1995 (up)


Comedy




The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities.

  • A Drug Warrior in our Midst
  • A Misguided Tour of Monticello
  • American City Homicide Awards 2021
  • Blowing Up Arkansas
  • Campfire Stories about America's Drug War
  • Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
  • COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023
  • Dragnet meets the Drug War
  • Drug War Comedy Routine
  • Drug War Copaganda
  • Drug War Jeopardy!
  • Drug War: the Musical!
  • Funny Animated Gifs about America's imperialist and racist Drug War
  • One of these things is not like the other
  • Plants Divine, All Plants Excelling
  • Public Service Announcements for the Post-Drug War Era
  • Rat Out Your Neighbors
  • The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
  • The Drug War Board Game
  • The Joy of Drug Testing
  • The Only Good Hippo...
  • Thought Crimes Blotter
  • Torture 101 at DEA University
  • We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself
  • What's My Line?





  • Ten Tweets

    against the hateful war on US




    America is an "arrestocracy" thanks to the war on drugs.

    "Arrest made in Matthew Perry death." Oh, yeah? Did they arrest the drug warriors who prioritized propaganda over education?

    To oppose the Drug War philosophically, one has to highlight its connections to both materialism and the psychiatric pill mill. And that's a problem, because almost everyone is either a Drug Warrior or a materialist these days and has a vested interest in the continuation of the psychiatric pill mill.

    FDA drug approval is a farce when it comes to psychoactive medicine. The FDA ignores all the obvious benefits and pretends that to prove efficacy, they need "scientific" evidence. That's scientism, not science.

    The government causes problems for those who are habituated to certain drugs. Then they claim that these problems are symptoms of an illness. Then folks like Gabriel Mate come forth to find the "hidden pain" in "addicts." It's one big morality play created by drug laws.

    We should be encouraging certain drug use by the elderly. Many Indigenous drugs have been shown to grow new neurons and increase neural connectivity -- to refuse to use them makes us complicit in the dementia of our loved ones!

    The DEA should be put on trial for crimes against humanity for withholding godsend medicine from the depressed. Here is just one typical drug-user report that appeared in "Pihkal": "A glimpse of what true heaven is supposed to feel like..."

    I can't believe people. Somebody's telling me that "drugs" is not used problematically. It is CONSTANTLY used with a sneer in the voice when politicians want to diss somebody, as in, "Oh, they're in favor of DRUGS!!!" It's a political term as used today!

    If I beat my depression by smoking opium nightly, I am a drug scumbag subject to immediate arrest. But if I do NOT "take my meds" every day of my life, I am a bad patient.

    I'm told antidepressant withdrawal is fine because it doesn't cause cravings. Why is it better to feel like hell than to have a craving? In any case, cravings are caused by prohibition. A sane world could also end cravings with the help of other drugs.


    Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






    How Drug Warriors Steal American Elections
    Review of When Plants Dream


    This site uses no cookies! This site features no ads!



    Thanks for visiting The Drug War Philosopher at abolishthedea.com, featuring essays against America's disgraceful drug war. Updated daily.

    Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com


    (up)