How Drug Warriors Steal American Elections
by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
October 27, 2019
[standup]
Welcome back to the DEA Lounge!
[applaud]
How many people realize that American elections are fixed? Let's see a show of hands.
[gasp]
You heard me. American elections are fixed, and they have been fixed for the last 40 years.
[gasp]
How? No, it has nothing to do with the Russians. It's because the Drug War, each year, is locking up almost a million left-leaning voters.
[gasp]
Think about it. The folks that we're arresting for mere drug possession were never going to vote for conservatives, so it follows that it is in the conservative interest to keep the Drug War going full tilt, to keep a million left-leaning Americans off the voting rolls every year.
[gasp]
This is why the Drug War goes on, because we're arresting all the voters that would throw the Drug Warriors out of office.
[boo]
Nowadays, we see national elections decided by mere thousands of votes -- so just imagine the enormous benefit that Drug War conservatives receive when a million of their opponents are removed from the voting rolls every year thanks to a felony charge for possession.
[gasp]
Did I mention that this actually bothers me?
[applaud]
This is why, far from apologizing for being mad, I urge my fellow Americans to become as pissed as I am.
[applaud]
As for the Christian Science narcs in the room, relax. I'm just suggesting -- merely hinting -- that you just possibly might want to consider a career that does not entail the corruption of American elections and the denial of basic rights to your fellow Americans, that's all I'm saying. Just think about it. Just think that you might possibly (just maybe) want to stop ruining a million lives a year, thereby subverting American elections. Fair enough?
[laughter]
As for the rest of you lot, enough with the oh-so-cool cynicism about civic involvement. Hop out of the urine-testing line and complain for a change!
Baaaa!
All right, who just bleated? Don't make me come out there!
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
Drug Prohibition Downside #1,529:
aviation accidents caused by pilots who failed to use mind-sharpening drugs to improve their situational awareness. (See, for instance, Comair flight 5191)
Drug Warriors rail against drugs as if they were one specific thing. They may as well rail against penicillin because cyanide can kill.
If Americans cannot handle the truth about drugs, then there is something wrong with Americans, not with drugs.
The FDA approves of shock therapy and the psychiatric pill mill, but they cannot see the benefits in MDMA, a drug that brought peace, love and understanding to the dance floor in 1990s Britain.
Malcolm X sensed an important truth about drugs: the fact that it was always a self-interested category error for Americans to place medical doctors in charge of mind and mood medicine.
If religious liberty existed, we would be able to use the inspiring phenethylamines created by Alexander Shulgin in the same way and for the same reasons as the Vedic people of India used soma.
Folks point to the seemingly endless drugs that can be synthesized today and say it's a reason for prohibition. To the contrary, it's the reason why prohibition is madness. It results in an endless game of militaristic whack-a-mole at the expense of democratic freedoms.
Getting off antidepressants can make things worse for only one reason: because we have outlawed all the drugs that could help with the transition. Right now, getting off any drug basically means becoming a drug-free Christian Scientist. No wonder withdrawal is hard.
This is why it's wrong to dismiss drugs as "good" or "bad." There are endless potential positive uses to psychoactive drugs. That's all that we should ask of them.
We throw people out of jobs for using "drugs," we praise them for using "meds." The categories are imaginary, made up by politicians who want to demonize certain substances, but not cigs or beer.
Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us
Running with the DEA -- er, I mean the Devil
A Drug Warrior in our Midst
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Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass
Contact: quass@quass.com
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