"There is no argument which so touches the feeble reason of the madman as the argumentum ad absurdum." --'The System of Dr. Tarr and Professor Fether' by Edgar Allan Poe.
Welcome from the Partnership for a Death Free America!
Here in America, we've managed to successfully criminalize almost all naturally occurring godsend medicines and thus save our dearest and whitest children from the consequences of their own folly. But our work is not yet done. The world is full of many OTHER dangers that call for prompt and drastic legal action as well. Young white children are dying every day from entirely preventable causes! And why? Because our lax laws continue to allow American citizens to flirt lasciviously with danger -- on the highways, in the kitchen, at the playground -- even in the grocery store. So while the Drug War may have succeeded beyond the wildest dreams of our Chicken Little ancestors, placing virtually the entire world under a kind of Christian Science Sharia (taking children away from heretics while confiscating their houses and denying them employment anywhere in America) there are hundreds of other threats that we must attack with equal ferocity if we're to achieve the Partnership's goal of a Death Free America by the year 2030.
Remember, if we can save just one young stateside suburban Caucasian from their own idiocy, then all of the drive-by shootings and the civil wars that our Draconian laws cause will be well worth it! (True, there may be a few hundred million people like the depressed who go without godsend medicines, but in Congress, no one can hear them scream!)
Keep your kids' minds off of all these killer activities. Teach them to shoot and collect guns instead! It's a fun and informative hobby and it can even save lives. Who knows? The next time somebody draws a gun in church, your son or daughter may be there to shoot them down and end up as a hero on the nightly news!
Aspirin causes 3,000 deaths every year in Britain. We can only wonder how many are killed in the States. We don't know THOSE numbers because companies like Astra-Zeneca do not WANT us to know them. Stop this wholesale murder of innocents! Outlaw aspirin today! This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Think coasters are fun? Tell that to the five people killed at the Battersea Fun Fair in 1972 when the cable of the Big Dipper snapped while the train was at the top of the hill! Show the world that they did not die in vain! Tell your representative to outlaw roller coasters today.
An average of six people die every week in the Grand Canyon, all so that they could take pictures that already exist by the millions online. Let's end this national nightmare. Write your representative and tell them to close the Grand Canyon to tourists NOW! This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. Working to make America death free by 2030.
100,000 Americans are injured every year in horse-related accidents. In fact, horseback riding is more dangerous than both motorcycle riding and skiing. It's also the leading cause of sports-related traumatic brain injuries. So tell your kids to "just say whoa!" Look at Christopher Reeves. He was a responsible and knowledgeable equestrian. But he couldn't handle horses. The fact is, NO ONE can handle horses! Because let's face it: horseback riding is not a pastime, folks, it's a suicide attempt. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Note: The Partnership is working with Congress to punish Mexico for sending horses across our border! They will PAY for injuring our poor innocent little white kids!
Over 37,000 Americans die every year in traffic accidents, many of them young upstanding white kids like yours and mine. Stop the carnage now. Tell the DEA to outlaw cars and support House Bill 2026G to hold car dealers responsible for all car-related deaths. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Peanuts kill over 100 children a year, many of them white. Let's stop the madness. Tell the DEA to classify peanuts as Schedule I. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
An average of 48 Americans are killed every year when they fall from a tree that they are climbing for so called "fun" (source: OSHA). Many of these victims are white suburban children, just like your own dear little angels. And yet tree climbing is still unregulated in most states. Don't let your children take the fall for America's lax tree climbing laws. Tell Congress to pass the Anti-Ascension bill, limiting tree climbing to licensed professionals. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
1,800 people die each year in car accidents caused by ice. Many of them are young white teenagers. Tell Congress to vote no on the latest Climate Change bill. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
24,000 people are injured by shopping carts every year. 85% of the victims are white kids. Call your representatives today and tell them that enough is enough. It's time to ban shopping carts in all grocery stores. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. [Editor's note: read "shopping trolley" in UK]
Think skateboarding is fun? Tell that to the parents of the 40 kids who are killed every year by this deadly pastime. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Champagne corks kill at least 20 people every year, many of them white American teenagers. Tell Congress to pass the Safe Carbonation Act of 2023. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
People ask me, "How can you advocate the mass killing of sharks?" I look at my children and say, "How could I NOT?" Sharks kill at least 10 people every year, many of them innocent widdle white children. This message courtesy of the Partnership for a Death Free America.
More teens die from taking selfies than from shark attacks. Tell your congressman that it's time to outlaw mobile phones. (For 87 kids this year, it's already too late.) This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
If you see someone abusing a mobile phone, call your local authorities.
People ask how can I be in favor of the eradication of hippopotamuses? I look at my children and ask, "How can I NOT????" Hippos kill thousands of people every year, many of them children. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
An average of two people die every year attempting to scale Longs Peak in Colorado. Just say no to mountain climbing. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
NOTE: In the 1990s, the Partnership for a Drug Free America ran the most mendacious ad in the history of public service announcements, the one in which they claimed that drugs fry the brain the moment that they're outlawed by botanically clueless politicians. (You remember the ad: the one featuring the sizzling egg with the ominous voiceover: "This is your brain on drugs.") Not only was that false, but it was almost the opposite of the truth. Most psychoactive drugs focus and expand the mind when taken under the right conditions. If any drugs "fry" the brain, they are the Big Pharma meds which 1 in 4 American women take every day of their lives.
I guess the Partnership finally figured out that a "drug free America" is too obviously a Christian Scientist goal and that most Americans do not want to give up on drugs entirely. So they've retrenched to target kids only by rebranding themselves as Partnership for Drug Free Kids. Of course, it's still not clear why even children should say no to psychoactive medicines that could help them. We certainly do not think that's true when it comes to Big Pharma "meds," more's the pity. No, we're happy to tranquilize our kids with supposedly scientifically created synthetics, but we're determined not to let them have any naturally occurring godsends that might sharpen their minds and let them rise above the psychological boundaries imposed by tyrannical parents, for instance.
Nor should we withhold morphine from children in hospice, unless we truly value a Drug War more than our children -- which, alas, seems to be the case in at least 150 countries around the world, in which morphine is not available for kids, thanks to the Christian Science sensibilities of our puritanical Drug Warriors. (For more on this hidden travesty of the Drug War, see the work of Damon Barrett.)
In short, the Partnership still doesn't get it: We should say "no" to unnecessary substance use, of course, but that doesn't make a good slogan. Besides, the Partnership wants to encourage fear, not understanding, otherwise they would never encourage kids to refrain from drugs per se. It's like telling kids that they should refrain from accepting anesthetics for any childhood surgery that they should undergo -- or that they should refrain from taking aspirin? Really? Why?
Hence, the Partnership for a Death Free America, to satirize the original Partnership's muddleheaded desire to protect our kids with fearmongering rather than common sense.
Earth to Partnership: Drugs aren't good or bad. If you think they're bad, then rebrand yourself as the Partnership for the Advancement of Christian Science. For it was the founder of that religion, Mary Baker Eddy, who first told us that drugs were bad. That is, it's a religious position, not a scientific or logical one.
As GK Chesterton points out in his book on Thomas Aquinas, God said that his creation was good, which means, according to the Catholic Church itself, that no "thing" is good or bad in itself, but rather the use of things is good or bad. The Partnership people should re-read the Book of Genesis.
In light of this latter consideration, it is a violation of religious liberty to hold DARE classes and other anti-drug programs for grade schoolers. Parents should be demanding a halt to such indoctrination of their offspring on behalf of Drug War sensibilities.
Author's Follow-up: April 19, 2023
It's informative to search the Web for "rare causes of death." In most cases, the site authors not only cite the "odd" statistics themselves, but they then go on to assure the reader that, statistically speaking, the death toll in question is very low indeed. For instance, one site about Mt. Everest tells us that 300 people have died so far in their effort to scale the historic peak. But the authors are then quick to point out that this represents only 1% of all climbers and that your chances of dying during the ascent are, in fact, "slim" -- as long as "you are properly prepared and climbing with a professional guide."
Wouldn't it be great if the reporters for the mainstream media provided the same context when writing about drug deaths? Instead of trying to make prohibitionist "hay" out of the fact that Leah Betts died using Ecstasy (only because we tried to scare her about drugs rather than educating her about them), reporters should be pointing out the inconvenient truth that the chances of dying from ecstasy use are extremely slim -- in fact, many times SLIMMER than the chances of dying from the aforementioned ascent, or even from aspirin for that matter. But the ghoulish mainstream always tries to parlay such "drug-related deaths" into scare stories about the modern boogieman called "drugs." Thus they confound the whole drug debate, meanwhile making the fat cats smile on their way to the bank to cash their dividend checks from one or more of the many drug-war beneficiaries: like Big Pharma, Law Enforcement, the Corrections Industry, Psychiatry, and the bribed politicians who shape the national narratives desired by today's agenda-setting plutocrats.
Of course, one death rate is alarming outside of all context, and that is the growing death rate by opioid use of young Americans. But these are deaths brought about by the Drug War itself which makes it impossible to know the quantity or quality of the substance that one is using. For while the media likes to associate opioids with overdose, the two are only connected because of prohibition -- but don't hold your breath waiting for the conglomerate media to point that out -- even in your "local" newspaper, which is probably owned by Gannett Corporation, Sinclair or Hearst. The fact is, we would have an overdose problem with any medicine that is outlawed and whose quality and quantity therefore cannot be accurately known by the user.
Related tweet: May 30, 2023
I can't believe that no one at UVA is bothered by the DEA's 1987 raid on Monticello. It was, after all, a sort of coup against the Natural Law upon which Jefferson had founded America, asserting as it did the government's right to outlaw Mother Nature.
Ad Campaign Fails
Related tweet: November 10, 2023
Americans won't be true grown-ups until they learn to react to drug deaths the same way that they react to deaths related to horseback riding and mountain climbing. They don't blame such deaths on horses and mountains; neither should they blame drug-related deaths on drugs.
Fearmongering
The drug war is the ultimate case of fearmongering. And yet academics and historians fail to recognize it as such. They will protest eloquently against the outrages of the witch hunts of yore, but they are blind to the witch hunts of the present. What is a drug dealer but a modern service magician, someone who sells psychoactive medicine designed to effect personal ends for the user? They are simply providing an alternative to materialistic medicine, which ignores common sense and so ignores the glaringly obvious value of such substances.
How else will they scare us enough to convince us to give up all our freedoms for the purpose of fighting horrible awful evil DRUGS? DRUGS is the sledgehammer with which they are destroying American democracy.
I've been told by many that I should have seen "my doctor" before withdrawing from Effexor. But, A) My doctor got me hooked on the junk in the first place, and, B) That doctor completely ignores the OBVIOUS benefits of indigenous meds and focuses only on theoretical downsides.
America created a whole negative morality around "drugs" starting in 1914. "Users" became fiends and were as helpless as a Christian sinner -- in need of grace from a higher power. Before prohibition, these "fiends" were habitues, no worse than Ben Franklin or Thomas Jefferson.
If the depressed patient laughs, that means nothing. Materialists have to see results under a microscopic or they will never sign off on a therapy.
Today's war against drug users is like Elizabeth I's war against Catholics. Both are religious crackdowns. For today's oppressors, the true faith (i.e., the moral way to live) is according to the drug-hating religion of Christian Science.
We deal with "drug" risks differently than any other risk. Aspirin kills thousands every year. The death rate from free climbing is huge. But it's only with "drug use" that we demand zero deaths (a policy which ironically causes far more deaths than necessary).
I don't believe in the materialist paradigm upon which SSRIs were created, according to which humans are interchangeable chemical robots amenable to the same treatment for human sadness. Let me use laughing gas and MDMA and coca and let the materialists use SSRIs.
That's why I created the satirical Partnership for a Death Free America. It demonstrates clearly that drug warriors aren't worried about our health, otherwise they'd outlaw shopping carts, etc. The question then becomes: what are they REALLY afraid of? Answer: Free thinkers.
Many articles in science mags need this disclaimer: "Author has declined to consider the insights gained from drug-induced states on this topic out of fealty to Christian Science orthodoxy." They don't do this because they know readers already assume that drugs will be ignored.
Imagine someone starting their book about antibiotics by saying that he's not trying to suggest that we actually use them. We should not have to apologize for being honest about drugs. If prohibitionists think that honesty is wrong, that's their problem.
Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans
You have been reading an article entitled, Partnership for a Death Free America published on April 12, 2023 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)
Aspirin causes 3,000 deaths every year in Britain. We can only wonder how many are killed in the States. We don't know THOSE numbers because companies like Astra-Zeneca do not WANT us to know them. Stop this wholesale murder of innocents! Outlaw aspirin today! This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Think coasters are fun? Tell that to the five people killed at the Battersea Fun Fair in 1972 when the cable of the Big Dipper snapped while the train was at the top of the hill! Show the world that they did not die in vain! Tell your representative to outlaw roller coasters today.
An average of six people die every week in the Grand Canyon, all so that they could take pictures that already exist by the millions online. Let's end this national nightmare. Write your representative and tell them to close the Grand Canyon to tourists NOW! This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. Working to make America death free by 2030.
100,000 Americans are injured every year in horse-related accidents. In fact, horseback riding is more dangerous than both motorcycle riding and skiing. It's also the leading cause of sports-related traumatic brain injuries. So tell your kids to "just say whoa!" Look at Christopher Reeves. He was a responsible and knowledgeable equestrian. But he couldn't handle horses. The fact is, NO ONE can handle horses! Because let's face it: horseback riding is not a pastime, folks, it's a suicide attempt. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Over 37,000 Americans die every year in traffic accidents, many of them young upstanding white kids like yours and mine. Stop the carnage now. Tell the DEA to outlaw cars and support House Bill 2026G to hold car dealers responsible for all car-related deaths. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Peanuts kill over 100 children a year, many of them white. Let's stop the madness. Tell the DEA to classify peanuts as Schedule I. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
An average of 48 Americans are killed every year when they fall from a tree that they are climbing for so called "fun" (source: OSHA). Many of these victims are white suburban children, just like your own dear little angels. And yet tree climbing is still unregulated in most states. Don't let your children take the fall for America's lax tree climbing laws. Tell Congress to pass the Anti-Ascension bill, limiting tree climbing to licensed professionals. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. 
1,800 people die each year in car accidents caused by ice. Many of them are young white teenagers. Tell Congress to vote no on the latest Climate Change bill. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
24,000 people are injured by shopping carts every year. 85% of the victims are white kids. Call your representatives today and tell them that enough is enough. It's time to ban shopping carts in all grocery stores. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. [Editor's note: read "shopping trolley" in UK]
Think skateboarding is fun? Tell that to the parents of the 40 kids who are killed every year by this deadly pastime. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
Champagne corks kill at least 20 people every year, many of them white American teenagers. Tell Congress to pass the Safe Carbonation Act of 2023. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
People ask me, "How can you advocate the mass killing of sharks?" I look at my children and say, "How could I NOT?" Sharks kill at least 10 people every year, many of them innocent widdle white children. This message courtesy of the Partnership for a Death Free America.
More teens die from taking selfies than from shark attacks. Tell your congressman that it's time to outlaw mobile phones. (For 87 kids this year, it's already too late.) This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America.
If you see someone abusing a mobile phone, call your local authorities. 
People ask how can I be in favor of the eradication of hippopotamuses? I look at my children and ask, "How can I NOT????" Hippos kill thousands of people every year, many of them children. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. 
An average of two people die every year attempting to scale Longs Peak in Colorado. Just say no to mountain climbing. This message brought to you by the Partnership for a Death Free America. 
You have been reading an article entitled, Partnership for a Death Free America published on April 12, 2023 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)