Running with the torture loving DEA
by Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher
November 7, 2019
Welcome back to the DEA Lounge!
I want to thank our public servants here for taking time out to join us. I know you've got a busy schedule, locking up liberals, so any time you can spare--
What did I say?
Hey, listen, I understand. By locking up liberals, you keep the Drug Warrior conservatives in power and thus maintain your crucial jobs of quashing dissent in America and limiting human consciousness.
No, seriously. I suppose the Drug War was bound to happen eventually on planet earth.
[gasp]
It had to happen at the precise moment in human history when capitalism and modern transportation coincided with a new awareness of the psychoactive power of plants.
[murmur]
PICTURE0020
We could either greet this alignment of forces rationally or not, and guess which choice we made?
[laughter]
Suddenly, Chicken Little politicians were screaming: "Oh, me gosh, we have to outlaw plants!"
Wrong.
AUDIO5
Earth to politicians: you should have outlawed the profit motive when it comes to those psychoactive plants, not the plants themselves.
[applaud]
I guess they had to scapegoat plants, though, since the alternative was to question the all-powerful god of capitalism 1 .
[laughter]
The result? They thereby created such a violent world that we had to invent a whole new movie genre to accommodate all the bullets and bodies: namely, the Drug War movie.
[laughter]
I hate to call such politicians morons, but if the dunce cap fits...
[drum]
[laughter]
"Gee, what happened? We outlawed plants and a bunch of violence ensued. Who would have thunk it?"
[laughter]
Answer: anyone with half a brain.
[drum]
[laughter]
Don't you love those Drug War movies 2 3 4 ? Those movies where the DEA "heroes" laugh at the US Constitution and willfully employ torture and murder to achieve their goal of outlawing Mother Nature? Ah, yes, good old American values: torture and murder.
[gasp]
Check out Running with the Devil, a DEA propaganda film starring Laurence Fishburne and Nicolas Cage.
[gasp]
Along with Leslie Bibb as the torture-loving DEA agent.
[gasp]
You know, if the Drug War is Christian, as many fundamentalists maintain, then I must have missed something in Sunday School.
[laughter]
I missed the part where Jesus told his followers to place suspects in bikini briefs, suspend them by a metal chain, and then threaten to drill holes in their abdomen with a power tool, as Leslie Bibb threatens to do to the so-called "Snitch" in Running with the Devil.
[gasp]
Oops, I forgot to mention: SPOILER ALERT!
[drum]
[laughter]
Speaking of spoilers, you ever notice that the Drug War spoils democracy!
[applaud]
I just looked up the movie, Running with the Devil, on so-called Common Sense Media.
[murmur]
Common Sense? More like Common Nonsense.
[laughter]
They pan the movie for its nudity and four-letter words...
[murmur]
...but they have absolutely NOTHING to say about the movie's glorification of governmental fascism5.
[laughter]
Common Sense Media is like: Watch out, parents. There are some very naughty words, indeed, in this movie! Land's sakes! Aside from that, though, it's just a good-natured romp extolling the wonders of fascism! So enjoy!
[laughter]
My name is Ballard Quass and I'll be here until they outlaw freedom of speech6, which won't be long considering that our government has already had the metaphysical chutzpah to outlaw mere plants!
Notes:
1: What the drug war tells us about American capitalism DWP (up)
2: Glenn Close but no cigar DWP (up)
3: Blast-off for Planet Hypocrisy! DWP (up)
4: Drug War Quotes in TV and Movies DWP (up)
5: Glorifying Beneficial Drug Use DWP (up)
6: Speak now or forever hold your peace about drug prohibition DWP (up)
Ten Tweets
against the hateful war on US
Psst! Drug use has benefits too. Pass it on!
In a free future, newspapers will have philosophers on their staffs to ensure that said papers are not inciting consequence-riddled hysteria through a biased coverage of drug-related mishaps.
No drug causes addiction after one use. From this fact alone, it follows that even drugs like meth and crack and Fentanyl can be used wisely -- on an intermittent basis.
"Can I use poppies, coca, laughing gas, MDMA?" "NO," says the materialist, "We must be SCIENTIFIC! We must fry your brain and give you a lobotomy and make you a patient for life with the psychiatric pill mill! That's true SCIENCE!"
This just in on the drug scene: A new New York Times report shows that America has been flooding the world with antidepressants, alcohol and cigarettes!
Folks like Sabet accuse folks like myself of ignoring the "facts." No, it is Sabet who is ignoring the facts -- facts about dangerous horses and free climbing. He's also ignoring all the downsides of prohibition, whose laws lead to the election of tyrants.
In America, they save the depressed from cocaine and opium by turning them into patients for life with dependence-causing "meds." Now 30-year-old doctors get to treat 67-year-olds like children, with new visits every damn three months.
The healthcare industry turns all the emotional downsides of drug prohibition into "illnesses."
The Hindu religion was created thanks to the use of a drug that inspired and elated. It is therefore a crime against religious liberty to outlaw substances that inspire and elate.
The Partnership for a Drug Free America should be put on trial for having blatantly lied to Americans in the 1980s about drugs, while using our taxpayer money to do so!
Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us
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Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass
Contact: quass@quass.com
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