MCEE: Live from the DEA Lounge, it's the man who put the "psycho" in "psychoactive."
[laughter]
Mr. Johnny O'Clonopan.
That's my name, use it only as directed.
[laughter]
[applause]
Thank you. Oh, you're too kind.
I will never understand how I got this gig at the DEA Lounge here in downtown Washington, D.C.
[laughter]
Apparently, the Human Relations staff failed to check my politics before signing me up.
The truth be told, I believe that the Drug War is...
1) Anti-patient.
[gasp]
2) Anti-scientific.
[gasp]
3) Anti-minority.
[gasp]
4) A violation of the natural law upon which this country was founded.
[gasp]
5) A way for conservatives to steal elections by locking up thousands of their political opponents.
[gasp]
6) A make-work program for law enforcement that is their golden goose thanks to the highly lucrative forfeiture of so-called drug property.
[gasp]
7) A protection racket designed to shield Big Pharma and Big Liquor from competition.
[gasp]
And an excuse to invade other countries, often with the goal of burning plants that have been used responsibly for millennia by the locals but which now pose an unacceptable competition to the American liquor industry.
Well, aren't you guys going to gasp?
[gasp]
That's more like it.
[drum]
[laughter]
No, seriously. How many of you saw Leslie Bibb, Nicolas Cage, and Laurence Fishburne in "Running with the Devil"?
[applause]
Well, that's depressing. I didn't realize it was that popular.
WOMAN: Oh, yes.
So, let me get this straight: Leslie Bibb is the DEA Chief and she gets to torture and murder mere suspects because they were dealing in....
[drum]
...oh, how horrible...
PLANTS???
[laughter]
Thomas Jefferson is not simply rolling in his grave, he is doing handsprings and cartwheels.
[laughter]
I mean, did somebody say "Whirling Dervish"?
CROWD: Whirling Dervish!
I thought so. But then the DEA never cared much for Thomas Jefferson anyway. Thirty-five years ago, they stomped onto Monticello in their jackboots and stole the man's poppy plants.
[boo]
I know, right? Let me tell you something, folks. U.S. elections aren't being swayed by the Russians, they're being stolen by American movie producers, like the ones responsible for this little 90-minute bit of Drug War propaganda.
MAN: That's right.
[applause]
I'd better get out of here. I hear they're having a celebration for former DEA head John C. Lawn. You remember Mr Lawn. He was the guy who tried to poison American pot smokers back in the 1970s by lacing marijuana plants with paraquat, a weed killer that has subsequently been shown to cause Parkinson's Disease.
[boo]
What can I say? Your tax dollars at work during America's Drug War.
WOMAN: Disgusting
You took the hash right out of my bong, lady.
[drum]
[laughter]
Here's an idea. Since he likes that stuff so much, why don't we all chip in together and get him a birthday cake laced with the weed killer of his choice?
[siren wails]
Hey, I was just kidding. I would never try to poison someone with paraquat, unlike certain former DEA chiefs that I know.
[drum]
[laughter]
MAN: For sheezy my neezy.
It's scary, though, because 35 years later, Master Poisoner John C. Lawn remains a hero in the eyes of the DEA, and if that doesn't tell you how corrupt this agency is, then nothing will.
WOMAN: Word.
[applause]
My name is Johnny O'Clonopan, and my comedy is every bit as addictive as my Big Pharma namesake, baby. I'll be here until Friday, or until the DEA finally figures out that I hate their friggin' guts.
[applause]
[laughter]
EMCEE: Let's put some hands together, please, gang, for Johnny O'Clonopan.
"When two men who have been in an aggressive mood toward each other take part in the ritual, one is able to say to the other, 'Come, let us drink, for there is something between us.' " re: the Mayan use of the balche drink in Encyc of Psych Plants, by Ratsch & Hofmann
What prohibitionists forget is that every popular but dangerous activity, from horseback riding to drug use, will have its victims. You cannot save everybody, and when you try to do so by law, you kill far more than you save, meanwhile destroying democracy in the process.
Alexander Shulgin is a typical westerner when he speaks about cocaine. He moralizes about the drug, telling us that it does not give him "real" power. But so what? Does coffee give him "real" power? Coke helps some, others not. Stop holding it to this weird metaphysical standard.
Richard Evans Schultes seems to have originated the harebrained idea (since used by the US Supreme Court to suppress new religions) that you have no right to use drugs in a religious ritual if you did not grow up in a society that had such practices. What tyrannical idiocy!
Until prohibition ends, rehab is all about enforcing a Christian Science attitude toward psychoactive medicines (with the occasional hypocritical exception of Big Pharma meds).
I hated the show "The Apprentice," because it taught a cynical and hate-filled lesson about the proper way to "get ahead" in the world. I saw Trump as a menace back then, long before he started declaring that American elections were corrupt before the very first vote was cast!
SSRIs are created based on the materialist notion that cures should be found under a microscope. That's why science is so slow in acknowledging the benefit of plant medicines. Anyone who chooses SSRIs over drugs like San Pedro cactus is simply uninformed.
Prohibition turned habituation into addiction by creating a wide variety of problems for users, including potential arrest, tainted or absent drug supply, and extreme stigmatization.
Even the worst forms of "abuse" can be combatted with a wise use of a wide range of psychoactive drugs, to combat both physical and psychological cravings. But drug warriors NEED addiction to be a HUGE problem. That's their golden goose.
Rick Strassman isn't sure that DMT should be legal. Really?! Does he not realize how dangerous it is to chemically extract DMT from plants? In the name of safety, prohibitionists have encouraged dangerous ignorance and turned local police into busybody Nazis.
Listen to the Drug War Philosopher as he tells you how you can support his work to end the hateful drug war -- and, ideally, put the DEA on trial for willfully lying about godsend medicines! (How? By advertising on this page right c'here!)
Buy the Drug War Comic Book by the Drug War Philosopher Brian Quass, featuring 150 hilarious op-ed pics about America's disgraceful war on Americans
You have been reading an article entitled, The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973 published on April 16, 2020 on AbolishTheDEA.com. For more information about America's disgraceful drug war, which is anti-patient, anti-minority, anti-scientific, anti-mother nature, imperialistic, the establishment of the Christian Science religion, a violation of the natural law upon which America was founded, and a childish and counterproductive way of looking at the world, one which causes all of the problems that it purports to solve, and then some, visit the drug war philosopher, at abolishTheDEA.com. (philosopher's bio; go to top of this page)