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We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself

a brief comedy sketch in protest of America's hateful policy of drug prohibition

by Brian Ballard Quass, the Drug War Philosopher

August 29, 2025



Live from the DEA Lounge, we present Johnny O'Clonapan.

What's up, Philly?

How many people want to end gun violence 1 in the City of Brotherly Love 2 ?

[applause]

Let's see, I think that's unanimous.

And now, how many people realize that it was drug prohibition which brought gun violence 3 to Philadelphia in the first place?

[crickets chirping]

I was afraid of that.

Now then, let's try this again.

How many people want to restore our inner cities?

[applause]

How many want to restore the rule of law in Latin America?

[applause]

How many want to end the mass arrest of minorities?

[applause]

How many want to end drug prohibition which causes all of these problems in the first place?

[cricket chirping]

I was afraid of that too!



Notes:

1: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)
2: The Philadelphia Citizen (up)
3: Firearm Violence in the United States Center for Gun Violence Solutions, Johns Hopkins University (up)


Comedy




The drug war is laughable -- or it would be if the drug warriors hadn't deprived us of laughing gas, the substance that William James himself used to study alternate realities.

  • A Drug Warrior in our Midst
  • A Misguided Tour of Monticello
  • American City Homicide Awards 2021
  • Blowing Up Arkansas
  • Campfire Stories about America's Drug War
  • Comedian Adderall Zoloft Riffs on the Drug War
  • COPS PRESENTS the top 10 traffic stops of 2023
  • Dragnet meets the Drug War
  • Drug War Comedy Routine
  • Drug War Copaganda
  • Drug War Jeopardy!
  • Drug War: the Musical!
  • Funny Animated Gifs about America's imperialist and racist Drug War
  • One of these things is not like the other
  • Plants Divine, All Plants Excelling
  • Public Service Announcements for the Post-Drug War Era
  • Rat Out Your Neighbors
  • The DEA: Poisoning Americans since 1973
  • The Drug War Board Game
  • The Joy of Drug Testing
  • The Only Good Hippo...
  • Thought Crimes Blotter
  • Torture 101 at DEA University
  • We have nothing to fear but the drug war itself
  • What's My Line?





  • Ten Tweets

    against the hateful war on US




    Mad in America publishes stories of folks who are disillusioned with antidepressants, but they won't publish mine, because I find mushrooms useful. They only want stories about cold turkey and jogging, or nutrition, or meditation.

    Until we legalize ALL psychoactive drugs, there will be no such thing as an addiction expert. In the meantime, it's insulting to be told by neuroscience that I'm an addictive type. It's pathologizing my just indignation at psychiatry's niggardly pharmacopoeia.

    "Like Christians burning mosques and temples to spread the word of Jesus, modem drugabuseologists burn crops to spread the use of alcohol." -- Ceremonial Chemistry, p. 48

    Drug war pundits need to stop using the word "snorts" when it comes to cocaine. We "take" our "meds," and yet we "snort" cocaine, just like a pig. That is NOT neutral language, folks!

    America created a whole negative morality around "drugs" starting in 1914. "Users" became fiends and were as helpless as a Christian sinner -- in need of grace from a higher power. Before prohibition, these "fiends" were habitues, no worse than Ben Franklin or Thomas Jefferson.

    Had we really wanted to "help" users, we would have used the endless godsends of Mother Nature and related synthetics to provide spirit-lifting alternatives to problem use. But no one wanted to treat users as normal humans. They wanted to pathologize and moralize their use.

    If religious liberty existed, we would be able to use the inspiring phenethylamines created by Alexander Shulgin in the same way and for the same reasons as the Vedic people of India used soma.

    We should be encouraging certain drug use by the elderly. Many Indigenous drugs have been shown to grow new neurons and increase neural connectivity -- to refuse to use them makes us complicit in the dementia of our loved ones!

    Psychedelics and entheogens should be freely available to all dementia patients. These medicines can increase neuronal plasticity and even grow new neurons. Besides, they can inspire and elate -- or do we puritans feel that our loved ones have no right to peace of mind?

    One merely has to look at any issue of Psychology Today to see articles in which the author reckons without the Drug War, in which they pretend that banned substances do not exist and so fail to incorporate any topic-related insights that might otherwise come from user reports.


    Click here to see All Tweets against the hateful War on Us






    Withdrawing from antidepressants in the age of the Drug War
    How Drug Prohibition turns Americans into patients for life


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    Thanks for visiting The Drug War Philosopher at abolishthedea.com, featuring essays against America's disgraceful drug war. Updated daily.

    Copyright 2025, Brian Ballard Quass Contact: quass@quass.com


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