Abolish the DEA

Movie Review of Running With the Devil 2019

EMCEE: Welcome to today's movie review by Fishkill and Egbert.

FISHKIL: Hello, I'm Fishkill.

EGBERT: And I'm Egbert.

FISHKILL: And today we will be reviewing the 2019 movie entitled "Running with the Devil," starring Nicolas Cage, Natalie Reyes and Laurence Fishburne.

EGBERT: Right you are, Fishkill. It's all about a ring of bad guys played by Nicolas Cage and Laurence Fishburne.

FISHKILL: Oh, those guys were terrible. Do you know that they were actually selling plant medicine from Mother Nature? How horrible.

EGBERT: I know, right?

FISHKILL: But not to worry. Natalie Reyes stars as a hard-working DEA agent who is determined to enforce Christian Science Sharia by shutting these bad guys down.

EGBERT: Serves them right. Can you imagine: selling Mother Nature's bounty to your fellow human being? How evil can you get?

FISHKILL: Fortunately, Natalie doesn't let any constitutional protections get in her way. She makes her witnesses strip down to their Speedos and then hangs them from a meat hook.

EGBERT: I'm sure that George Washington himself would have done the same.

FISHKILL: I know, right?

EGBERT: I mean, constitutional protections are all well and good, but that was before people started using plant medicines of which politicians disapproved.

FISHKILL: Yes, such behavior is not very patriotic, is it?

EGBERT: Not one jot, Fishkill.

FISHKILL: But don't worry. Goodness triumphs in the end when Natalie Reyes shoots Nicolas Cage at point-blank range in cold blood, thereby putting an end to his blasphemous violation of Drug War Sharia.

EGBERT: That's what he gets for being a Christian Science heretic.

FISHKILL: Imagine thinking that people can use any plant medicine that they want to use.

EGBERT: That way madness lies. I mean, what do we have politicians for if not to protect us from the evil plants of Mother Nature?

FISHKILL: So I give it a thumbs up. How about you, Egbert?

EGBERT: I give it a thumbs up as well.

FISHKILL: Great. So it sounds like we're 'all thumbs' here today on the Fishkill & Egbert show.

EGBERT: You are incorrigible, Fishkill.

FISHKILL: 'Running with the Devil' is really a movie for the entire family.

EGBERT: Although you may wish to shield Junior's eyes during the torture scene since the bad guy is only wearing a Speedo.

FISHKILL: Other than that, the movie reinforces all those great values that we hold dear as Americans. You know, the right to have the government tell us what plants we can use. The right to have government officials torture us when we use plants of which politicians disapprove.

EGBERT: And the right to strip drug-war heretics down to their Speedos and hang them from meat hooks.

FISHKILL: That's the kind of rights that my forefathers fought for in the Revolutionary War.

EGBERT: It's what America is all about, if you ask me.

FISHKILL: Next week we will review another movie that is big on American values.

EGBERT: That's right. It's called 'Crackdown.'

FISHKILL: Yes. Nicolas Cage and Fishburne are back, this time as the good guys.

EGBERT: They travel to South America to shoot Latino scumbags.

FISHKILL: Yes, but only because the dirtbags which actually selling Mother Nature's plant medicines to their fellow human beings.

WOMAN: Disgusting!

EGBERT: Kewl. Maybe there's a meat hook in this movie, too.

SUFER: Brah!

FISHKILL: We can only hope, Egbert.


FISHKILL: We can only hope.

EMCEE: You've been listening to the Fishkill & Egbert movie review, brought to you by America's DEA, who remind you to turn in your friends and loved ones if you find them using plants and fungi of which the American government disapproves.

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